Every Tuesday night at 7:30, my fifteen-year-old daughter has a trumpet lesson in Portland which is 45 minutes away. When people hear this they think we are a little crazy to be driving that far on a school night every week for a music lesson. We spend more time in the car than we do at the actual lesson. We are committed to helping her develop as a musician but there are benefits beyond that.
My husband and I swap off on this “duty” that we both actually enjoy… Why? Because it gives us time alone with our daughter.
She has a special play list for each of us. I haven’t actually listened to my husband’s play list but I have a feeling it is more old school. I prefer to think of my list as the “hip” one. We listen to the most current music from Ed Sheeran to Ingrid Michaelson and lots of other artists in between. We have certain songs that we play loud and sing along to.
She exposes me to new music I haven’t heard of before. Sometimes she thinks she is introducing me to new music when it is actually alternative music from the 80s being recycled. She has such a passion for music she can morph her listening tastes to who she is with.
When we turn the music down, the real conversation starts. I hear about her good news and troubles. I get the updates on her friends, classes and boys. I can ask her questions that we don’t really have time for when we are at home with the distractions of school work and social media. Or, we discuss topics that she would prefer I not bring up in front of her dad or older brother.
Sometimes I bring up topics that get shot down like looking ahead to the future or planning college visits. When I have conversations with other moms, I get the sense that they don’t have these conversations with their daughters. I am so thankful I do.
In a few months she will be getting her license. I know I am not ready for her to make this weekly trip by herself. As a driver, she can handle it. But, I will miss our talking time. I will probably still go along for the ride.