Movie Torture

I love going to the movies but we are so busy we don’t get to go very often. We have a small independent movie theatre near us that we love to go to. The theatre seats maybe 100 people, has couches in the front and the pre movie loop features local businesses. The latest movie,The Grand Budapest Hotel, looked amusing. We enjoy the off beat, quirky movies that play there.

I had seen on Facebook that they sold out last night so my husband picked the tickets up early. We arrived early so we could get a seat. It went downhill from there…

I noticed the theatre was about ten degrees too warm so it was stuffy. I peeled off a few layers and tried to adjust. When I returned to my seat after getting snacks I noticed a group of people sat in front of us. When I got resettled I was assailed by a heavy perfume smell which was trying to cover up an even more unpleasant smell. I was wishing my cold would come back. I tried breathing through my mouth but I couldn’t escape it.

As more people arrived the theatre became packed. Each time someone climbed over us we had to resettle. I felt like Elaine from a Seinfeld episode screaming inside my head to “Get me OUT”. But, we stuck it out. I held at hope that the movie would be so good that it would transport me to a better place.

It didn’t… other people laughed and I just couldn’t find it funny. I appreciated that creativity in the set design and the acting but just couldn’t get into it. I am pretty open-minded but I had a really hard time with this movie. I noticed my husband nodding off next to me. A sure sign of a good movie is if he lasts through the whole thing. I don’t think he made it 20 minutes before dozing off.

My feet were going numb in my shoes, my hip was starting to hurt. Whenever one of the people moved in front of us a new whiff of the smell would come our way.

When the movie ended I dove out the door for a breath of fresh cool air. Aaahhh… We survived.



  1. Oh, no! This sounds terrible. Your descriptions are so vivid. Rest assured that even if the movie wasn’t funny, your description of your outing made me laugh; at least someone had a good time – ha! Better luck next time.

  2. I love this! I wish I would have sliced about some “unpleasant” experiences this month, like you just did here. The reference to Elaine was priceless. I could picture it perfectly! Great, great slice. Made me laugh. I’m sorry the movie-going experience wasn’t what you, or your husband, had hoped!

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